Friday, August 19, 2011

Junk miles or exercise in mental abuse?


WTH!! Today I had to squeeze in my run early due to child-care commitments. I felt pretty good as I set off to do my seven mile staple run, although I had wanted to do my 12 mile loop. 

First mistake: shoes. I swear I have an "unlucky" pair of shoes!! I have these racing flats that I feel great in, and have lots of great runs, and PRs, when I wear them. Then there's this other pair ... They are all K-Swiss. The racing flats are UG-LY. U.G.L.Y!!! And I happen to have 2 pairs, as I left them in St. George, but was lucky to have the race director sent them to me!! But I'd replaced them (at a steal, >50% off!). Now ugly shoes = good run, almost always. But the attractive red and white Blade Light shoes ... I run terrible in them, almost always. I'm not in pain, I don't have a different feel, they just seem to be highly associated with crappy runs. I need to stop running in them.

Second mistake: no breakfast. Energy was low and at the end, hypoglycemia set in. Grrrr.

So I set off and I decide I'm going to make this and easy pace out, then negative split back. I wasn't looking for lactate threshold or anything, just a nice few miles. By mile one I was struggling with a 9:44 min mile. It felt faster, and more effort than that pace, for sure. UGH! As I hit my second mile the pace was better, just not "good". And I felt tired. I had good music, and that usually picks me up, but not today. So, I just figure, not every run can be AMAZING, right? This sure wasn't.

When I hit 3 miles I decide to eject and do 6 rather than 7. At this point, I'm trying to maintain some dignity. But no, it deteriorates from there. I walked. A lot.  I just feel really tired.  My Thursdays are a LONG, LONG ass day. I don't hate it or anything, I just think it takes it's toll. I didn't get to sleep until after 1 am. Got up at 7am. That's not enough sleep for me :(

During the crappy run, I'm mentally debating if these are junk miles or if I can pull anything from them. I pretended that this was my mental state for the last 6 miles of my 140.6 mile triathlon ... THAT I'M DOING IN 3 WEEKS!!!  So, pushed a bit mentally, but still, no response from my body physically. This is probably good practice for those time, and believe me, there are many of those times - mental highs and lows - in one mere day, one race. It's multi-phasic, cyclic, and I have to really work on my attitude of gratitude on race day. Try not to "wish it away", try to stay in the moment. When I'm successful at that, I feel so amazing, regardless of my performance. It's a true state of euphoria and gratitude and pride! But when that's not happening, you get some really freakin' low LOWS ... I suck. I have no business doing this. Why didn't I train better, more, and more consistently. You can really beat the snot out of yourself!! And, trust me, I know how unproductive this is! I'd NEVER be that "unsupportive" of even my worst enemy (and lots of you know who that is!) ;-) ... so why would I "talk" to myself like that???  It's not by choice, and I work hard to avoid that unproductive thinking.

So, today I have lots to do, and chicklets, so I'm kind of trapped at home. I will work on my "to do" list today and, seriously, thinking I'll try again this evening. I really want to have a good run. Maybe I can still have that. I ran 6 miles today in 5 minutes slower than I typically run SEVEN miles. So ... maybe try again later, after fueling, after possibly a nap. And really, no pressure - if it's better, great, if not, more preparation for the mental abuse in an Iron distance triathlon??  We shall see.

Next blog post will be recapping my Saturday ride with CTC ... or at least that's how it started out ...


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